


Icarus, her moon and her sun

by typicalmidnightsoul



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: F/M, JUST READ IT THANKS, Multi, THIS IS MOSTLY THE VALKYRIE TRIO FRIENDSHIP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 03:00:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29743956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/typicalmidnightsoul/pseuds/typicalmidnightsoul
Summary: After Emerie finds out the tangled History between her best friend and her lover Emerie is hesitant to make her relationship with Morrigan known. She wonders if she could avoid the rejection she would face by keeping her relationship a secret. Also considering the state Nesta was in.... it wouldn’t be good to let her know...right?
Relationships: Azriel/Gwyneth Berdara, Emerie/Morrigan (ACoTaR), Nesta Archeron & Emerie, Nesta Archeron & Gwyneth Berdara, Nesta Archeron/Cassian
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	Icarus, her moon and her sun

Icarus and the Sun. The Forbidden love story. That’s what their love was like, that's how she loved her. Too close and too much. All it would take would be one peek behind the curtain and her heart would be there. Holding her hand. Her lover was the Sun, and she was Icarus. The only difference is that her wings had been snatched away from her before the Sun had come along.

Emerie.

Emerie.

“Emerie!”

Fingers clicked in her vision and Emerie looked up, “Hmm?” She was sitting opposite Nesta and Gywn on the dining table, breakfast lay before them. Nesta cocked her head,

“Where’d you go?”

Emerie waved off the concern in her eyes, and asked her to continue, Nesta gave her a last worried glance and carried on talking about her current read, explaining the world building skill to them both in detail.

Emerie smiled. Icarus, the sun and...her. Nesta.

Emerie’s moon. Nesta may be Gwyn’s sun but she was Emerie’s moon. She was the clarity Emerie had once longed for. She was the consistency and care Emerie needed as a child. She is the hand that always holds on. She will always be there for her yet unlike the moon in the love story of Icarus and the Sun, Nesta was never jealous of Emerie. On the contrary, Emerie could tell from the notes she got in the morning asking her if she ate, or the fresh flowers that filled her vase every morning, or the abundance of spices and teas she got every month, that Nesta Archeron in fact loved her to bits. And Emerie loved her. Nesta was an essential part of her...one Emerie knew she would never be able to let go without shattering to pieces. 

Emerie watched now as Nesta tipped her head back and laughed at Gwyn’s comment - those eyes of ice and silver twinkling with joy, her honey-coloured hair dancing in the rays of the sun. She was perfect…

...and stupid because no matter what her friends told her deep down she refused to belive that she was stunning. Nesta’s head turned to hers and asked,

“You are coming right?”

Emerie blinked, “Um, where?”

“To the markets, silly.” Gwyn replied affectionately.

Crap, she forgot about that.

“Wait, Gwyn you are coming?”

Nesta and Gwyn shared a secretive smile and it was Gwyn who quietly said,

“Let’s be honest I can’t very well let Nesta go out in this state, can I?”

Emerie raised another brow and Nesta went around the table to stand before Emerie and grabbed her hands, “In my defence I did not want either of you two knowing before the Summer Solstice but this one,” she gave a pointed glare in Gwyn’s direction, “barged into my room this morning and found out.”

Emerie glanced between them in bewilderment, “Found out what?”

Nesta squeezed her hands, smiling down at her sister, “I'm pregnant.”

Emerie stood, chair dropping to the floor, mouth wide, and squealed, “REALLY?! Oh my god!!”

Nesta nodded, “You’re going to be co-godmother!!” In midst of her jumping Emerie stopped and rolled her eyes looking at Gwyn who had joined them, “I’m guessing I’m co-godmother with you?” Gwyn nodded, proud of herself and all three sisters jumped up and down squealing until Gwyn told Nesta off for jumping [a] and Cassian came in. He went straight to his mate,

“I’m guessing you told them??” She nodded wrapping her arms around him and tip-toeing for a kiss. Cassian smiled at Gwyn and Emerie and Gwyn gave him a knowing look. Nesta explained to Emerie, “After Gwyn found out she promised Cassian that she would not let me leave her side. And she very readily offered you up as an extra bodyguard too.”

Emerie chuckled, “I will gladly do so for my godchild. Oh and do your sisters know?”

Nesta nodded, “I was planning to tell everyone at Summer Solstice but the only people who know are you, Gwyn, Feyre, Elain and Cassian. I told my sisters after Gwyn found out.”

Emerie looked her friend in the eye, “And your scent?”

Nesta gave her mate a light shove, “This one has kept a shield around me at all times and then Feyre, who is as protective as him, did the same, which was then joined by another ritual shield by an overly protective acolyte godmother. And only I am allowed to dictate who goes in and out of said shields.” She glared lovingly at Gwyn. Gwyn smiled.

Emerie grinned at her best friend and shook her head at the General,

“You couldn’t wait to knock her up, could you?”

Cassian gave her a fiendish grin which told Emerie enough. The commander trusted them both enough to know his mate would be safe. Understanding shone in the eyes of Cassian, Gwyn and Emerie, an unspoken pact going through them until he turned his attention back to his mate and cradled her face.

“I have to leave at noon today, I will probably be back in a week?”

Nesta gaped at him, “Cassian! We have to be in the Summer court in 9 days!!”

He sighed pulling her closer, “I know baby, but I need to check on all the camps before Summer Solstice holidays and make sure everything is tended to. But… remember if you need me just call down the bond and I’ll be here.”

She waved him off, “I have a Death trove now remember? I’ll be fine.”

A tang of jealousy went through Emerie, what did she have to do to get a love like this?

Cassian rolled his eyes and Gwyn interrupted them,

“I need to get back to the library to finish my jobs if we are to leave for the markets this afternoon.” She turned to Emerie, “You are coming right? Today at 3?”

Emerie nodded, “Yeah, but I need to be getting back to my shop now.” Gwyn gave her and Nesta a parting hug before leaving for the library and Cassian nodded and flew her down to the river estate so Mor, who was waiting for them, could winnow her back.

\----------------------

As Emerie breathed in the familiar scent of her shop, a voice that resembled bells said from behind her,

“Are you not going to invite me in?”

Emerie gave her lover a sly look over her shoulder,

“Well, you are very much welcome to follow me to my bedroom.” And then quickly ran up the stairs. Morrigan laughed, flipping a lock of hair over her shoulder and chasing after her angel.

After a lustful afternoon Emerie got up an hour before she was due to meet up with Nesta and Gwyn and headed for the shower to remove any intertwining scents. Once she had done, and made her way back to the bedroom, she found that her lover had awoken,

“Come back to bed…” Mor muttered. Emerie laughed over her shoulder,

“No dear, I have to go meet with Nesta and Gwyn. We’re going to the market.”

Mor leaned to her side, head on her fist, “Oh? Is Gwyneth coming outside?” She asked looking at Emerie in her vanity mirror. Emerie inwardly smiled, but merely replied,

“Yes she is. She’s getting much more confident every day. She’s even coming to the Summer Court for Solstice with Nesta and I. And your family, of course.”

Mor nodded and then asked quietly, “Have you told them...about us?”

Emerie looked at her in the mirror, hesitantly stopping brushing her hair and gulped, “Would you want me too?”

Morrigan considered for a long time before she whispered more to herself than her,

“Yes.”

Emerie didn’t know why but she could tell that letting their relationship be known mattered a lot to Mor. So she smiled and said,

“Of course but… maybe not today? It's just that Cassian’s left to check the camps and I think you want us to announce it in front of your whole family?”

Mor considered, then nodded and laid back on the bed and Emerie admired her as she laced up her boots. Laying back on the white pillows and sheets… golden hair around her like a halo. Her sun...in such a true sense.

Mor grinned at her, “What?”

Emerie controlled her blushes and asked, “Could you please winnow me to the river estate so I can meet up with my friends?” Mor groaned but got up, masking her scent, which was now mixed with Emerie’s, and shrugged her clothes back on.

\-------------------------

“Blue or red?” Nesta asked, holding up the dresses in front of the girls. Gwyn shook her head at both of them,

“Not your style, The tulle’s nice but it’s really pretentious for a  summer  solstice. The beading is just too much.”

Nesta turned to Emerie,

“What do you think Em?” Emerie shook her head,

“You could do so much better.” Nesta rolled her eyes with amusement as Gwyn squealed and picked up a satin silver dress from the rack. It had a low sweetheart neckline with full sleeves that clamped down on her wrist a slit up the thigh. Nesta gaped as Emerie giggled,

“You better try this on Nesta Archeron or I swear I will never talk to you again,” Gwyn threatened and both Nesta and Emerie fell apart laughing at Gwyn’s attachment to that dress. Nesta took the dress from Gwyn and disappeared to the changing rooms.

“We’ll be looking for our dresses and accessories.” Gwyn called out leading Emerie away.

She was really proud of Gwyn, and the courage she had portrayed in the past couple of years by leaving the sanctuary of her library. So much so that she even frequented Emerie’s shop almost as often as Nesta did. But travelling to a whole different court… Emerie would have to inquire about that.

“So, since we’re representing the Valkyrie, we should therefore match with Nesta,” Gwyn mused and pulled Emerie along to the ‘satin’ dresses rack and started combing through dresses. Emerie picked out a bright red one and held it against her,

“What do you think?”

Gwyn made a sour face, “Not at all. It’s too Morrigan.”

This was her chance, she realised as she put the dress back,

“Speaking of her, what do you think about Morrigan? Do you have an issue with her?”

Gwyn was still combing through the dresses and didn’t really pay any heed to her words and the gravity of them but answered nonetheless,

“Not necessarily, I will obviously be forever grateful to her for saving me and giving me my sanctuary but… she can be a tad bit… insensitive when it comes to validating trauma that she wasn’t present for or that isn’t... visible. Especially if it threatens her privacy or her relationships.”

Emerie tried to gauge the full extent of her words… her breathing somehow slowed as Gwyn said,

“But if Nesta doesn’t hold a grudge against her then why should I?” She pulled out two ruched satin turtleneck dresses, one in black and the other in champagne. “These will be perfect for us.”

Nesta called from the changing room, “Finished!”

And Gwyn answered back, “Coming!” Before she could leave however Emerie grabbed her arm,

“Wait, what has Nesta got to do with this?”

Gywn raised an eyebrow, “Do you not remember on our third..? Fourth? Girls night Nesta got really drunk and started talking about how she was told she should've been sent to the court of nightmares, she didn’t deserve the benefit of good people like Cassian and how she was a viper with a forked tongue?”

Emerie searched through her memories.

Whenever did Nesta say tha-....no. no, no, no, no, no.

Emerie looked up at Gwyn, “Mor said that?”

Gywn cocked her head at Emerie calling Morrigan “Mor” and then replied,

“Yes… but- why are you even asking me this? Did Morrigan say something?” Emerie plastered a smile to her face and shook her head,

“No, I was just curious about their… history.”

Gwyn slowly nodded her head as if suspicious but Nesta called for them again and after another worried glance she dragged Emerie to the dressing rooms with her.

Nesta looked breathtaking on a bad day but in that dress… She truly looked as though she could bring males to their knees by merely breathing in their direction. Her body looked as though it had melded with that dress and Nesta was a glowing pillar of moonlight. Gwyn jumped to Nesta’s side on the pedestal and hugged her meeting her eyes in the mirror,

“Look at you,” Gwyn whispered in soft reverence.

Nesta shrugged, “It’s nice.”

“You are radiant.” Emerie countered with the same reverence.

Gwyn turned to Emerie and they both shared a look of sadness. Nesta never knew how to take a compliment, Nesta’s insecurities ate away on Emerie more often than she’d like to admit. As if Nesta woke up in the morning and all she saw was the broken female with toxic coping mechanisms and not the absolute beauty and power that rolled off her in tidal waves. The thought was enough to make Emerie get up on the pedestal and stand on the other side of Nesta. All three sisters looked at each other through the mirror and spoke. Not physically but with their eyes. A look of joy passed through all of them as Gywn reached a hand and put it on Nesta’s stomach and whispered,

“ Godmother!!!” They all giggled and in that moment Emerie felt honoured that she was to be co-godmother to Nesta’s child. It was a Fae tradition that the godparents of the children were not siblings or cousins of the parents as they were already considered to be a second mother or father to them which was why Amren, Cassian and Azriel were the godfathers and godmother of Nyx. Emerie could already imagine the chaos and laughter that Nesta and Cassian’s child would bring. Nesta eyed the two dresses in Gywn’s hand and said,

“Don’t tell me we’re matching.”

Gwyn nodded and Nesta pushed them to the changing rooms demanding they get dressed and as Emerie slipped into her black dress she tried to push down the weight of Gywn’s words that were threatening to crush her.  Not now… let Nesta have today. She told her heart. The dresses had an open back that were convenient for her wings but she was guessing that Gwyn would button hers up.

As they stepped out Nesta’s breath caught in her throat. She gaped at the two of them and Gywn said,

“We should stand in front of the mirror with our eyes closed and open them at the same time!” They did so with a lot of stumbling and cursing but as they stood in front of the mirrors and beheld their image a soft silence went through the room. Until 2 years ago they didn’t even know one another existed but now look at them,

Twin flames of champagne and black flanking either side of Nesta who shone like stardust and moonlight in the middle. They were unbreakable.

“I’d just like to remind you both that  I  was the one who picked out all the dresses.” Gywn whispered, breaking the silence and they all burst out laughing. Nesta nodded at them and said, “Let’s go find the accessories as Gywn claims and we’ll pay for them and leave.”

\--------------------

Events of the 3rd girls night

Nesta sat back into the chair, drunk and crying, 

“I don’t know why you guys love me. I never deserved you two.”

Gwyn gasped not as drunk as Emerie and Nesta,

“No no no no Nes! Why would you think that.”

“Did you not know??? I am a viper! I have a forked tongue! I am worthy to only reside in the court of nightmares and do not deserve the good benefit of Cassians doubt! I. Am. Worthless.”

Emerie leaned up and slurred, “someone said that to you?” 

Nesta’s silence was answer enough.

“Whoever they are....they can go... to hell.” As Emerie nodded off she heard Nesta say , “I love you Em.” And Gwyn pull the covers around her and then sit down next to Nesta asking her....

Some...

Thing...

How could she have been so stupid?! As she lay next to Mor in her bed she wondered what to do. If she told Nesta she didn’t know the consequences.... Nesta would maybe distance herself? Um, or maybe she would be happy for Emerie but then close up whenever Mor came in the room? Oh good god! What if Nesta just cut herself off from Emerie?! Gwyn would be disappointed in her and she would be lonely all over again.... maybe she could keep things on the low... just until she found out a way to tell Nesta. Mor stirred beside her, 

“You ok, dear?” She muttered opening her eyes slowly, 

Well now or never Emerie.

She sat up and looked down at Mor, “I was just wondering... maybe we could keep our relationship a secret for a little longer....?” 

Mor woke up startled, 

“What- I- uh, Where is this coming from?” 

Emerie got up as well, 

“I just would like to keep this,” she gestured between them, “hidden for a little longer that’s all...”

Hurt flashed in Mor’s eyes but she replied, “Yeah, yeah um sure it’s your choice I guess.” She got out of bed, “I need to get going, is there anywhere I can take you?”

Emerie nodded unaware of her lovers change in behaviour,

“Yeah I actually need to go to Nesta’s. When will i see you again?”

Mor refused to meet her eyes, “a couple of days probably, send word to Rhys if you need winnowing anywhere.” 

Emerie nodded smiling at how easy it was to make Mor agree to it, blind to her lovers silent tears pouring down her face. 

\--------------------

2 days later

The bell dangled in the shop and Emerie turned expecting to find Rhysand here to winnow her to the house of wind.

“Hello,” Mor’s brown eyes were cold as she stepped through. At the sight of Emerie’s face she said, “Did you not want me here?”

“No- I mean yes but… I thought you were in Vallahan?”

Mor shrugged, “There were more important things here.” She rubbed her face and Emerie put a hand on her arm,

“Something has been...eating at you. What is it?”

Mor looked up and whispered, “You.”

Emerie flinched, “What?”

“Why? All I want to know is why. Why do you want to keep us hidden, a-a secret?”

Emerie backed away and started hopping from one foot to another, “You see I-”

“Was it  Nesta ? You came back from a shopping spree with  her and you...changed.”

Emerie snarled at the venom that crept into her at her best friend’s name.

“ Don’t speak of her name in that tone ,” she seethed.

It was Mor’s turn to flinch now, “I-I’m sorry I-I did not mean it intentionally-”

“Oh don’t bother,” Emerie laughed cruelly, “I get it. Old habits die hard.”

Sadness crept into Mor’s eyes and Emerie almost cracked at the broken plea she sent her way, “Emerie please…”

Emerie just thrust her hand out, “Just take me to Velaris.”

Mor gave up, nodding once before winnowing them away.

\------------

“We HAVE to go for a neutral themed baby shower,” Nesta argued.

“NO Nesta look I’ve been researching baby showers in the human lands and they have a theme and a gender reveal and all that jazz and we NEED A THEME THAT CORRESPONDS TO THE GENDER!”

“GWYN I WAS HUMAN REMEMBER and I will not be subjecting my child to gender stereotypes!”

As those two bickered Emerie tried to do some Mind-stilling to calm the after effects of her fight with Morrigan. She knew she had to push that away before Nesta or Gwyn realised something was wrong.

“Emerie, You okay?”

Too late. Emerie turned meeting Nesta and Gywn’s worried glances and answered Nesta,

“Yeah it’s just after Rhysand opened trades from my shop here work has been getting on top of me…”

“I can talk to Rhys with maybe take the workload off-” Nesta started

“Or we could help out and maybe hire others to help out?” Gwyn offered.

Emerie smiled at their concern and shook her head,

“No need, I’m fine I’ll let you know if it gets too consuming, now show me these themes and remind me why we’re having a baby shower?”

Gwyn and Nesta exchanged a worried look but decided to drop it,

“I wanted to do a baby shower because my mother loved them a lot, obviously due to fae traditions no one’s gonna be giving the baby anything but that doesn't mean they can’t give ME anything.”

Gwyn snatched the folder with the color swatches and theme ideas and showed a blue and pink one to Emerie,

“Now here's the thing, I think that we should have the planner do the party in the theme of the gender,”

Nesta snatched the folder back, “And  I  think that we should go for a more neutral theme…”

Gwyn lightly pushed her, “Who the hell are you to decide?”

It all went quiet, “THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD MAYBE?”

“Oh shut up, these are your hormones speaking.”

Nesta gaped at Gwyn and then turned to Emerie. Emerie laughed and as she did her past gloom was chased away by the consistent bickering of her friends. In that moment she had forgotten all about her argument with Mor.

But Morrigan hadn’t.

\------------------------------

Mor hadn’t seen Emerie in weeks except once after their argument in her shop. Emerie was apparently busy with Nesta and helping her out. Mor scoffed to herself. As if. Morrigan never thought that she would be jealous of Nesta but she was. Now she was, seeing Emerie not letting Nesta carry the crates into her shop, watching Nesta and Emerie in the veranda every time she tried to talk to her, laughing and giggling over books. God she hated this yet some low part of her still blamed Nesta, despite the remorse that was coursing through her. She replayed the argument in her head again and again.

Emerie flung her hand out of Mor’s grip,

“Stop it Mor! Just...stop!” Mor tried pleading with her again,

“Please Emerie, please if you could just tell me what’s wrong…”

“Why Mor?” Emerie turned and Mor noticed the silver lining her eyes, “Can I ask why I should? How will this help us Mor? If I want to tell you something in the future about  me  then how the hell would I tell you without fearing that the next person you call a viper with a forked tongue is me? How the hell will I be able to be angry with you in the future if I’m scared whether or not you’re going to tell me that  I  don’t deserve the benefit of good people or  I  would thrive in the Court of Nightmares.”

Mor stilled, “So this is about Nesta.”

Emerie blew a fuse,

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Mor took a step forward, “Emerie the words I said to Nesta I-I regret them and I would never say those to you…”

“YOU MIGHT AS WELL HAVE MOR... “ She took deep panting breaths, tears running down her face, “you might as well have. You fail to see how similar Nesta and I are and it just-” she trailed off trying to, “I love Nesta ok? She- she saved me. She made me less lonely. I-I had  no one  and then a female made of ice walks into my shop and suddenly I have someone I-I have  her . You didn’t even Know of my existence and we  met  because of Nesta. I am terrified that I will hurt Nesta by telling her that I am having an affair with the female who repeatedly let her know that she didn’t deserve anything?”

Venom filled Mor’s eyes, “Oh I see, you’re afraid of disappointing “Nesta”, you’re afraid of what Nesta will think. Well why don’t you go sleep with her then!”

Emerie shook her head in disbelief,

“I can’t believe you. Instead of trying to make this work…” she shook her head again, “I can’t reason with you Morrigan. I can’t-” she looked up choking on a sob, “I can’t talk to you now. We’ll speak once you have something to say other than that.”

She turned and fled into her shop. And Mor’s heart broke.

Could this maybe be her karma for all of the hearts she broke by keeping past relationships hidden? “Go to hell,” Mor muttered to no one in particular and got up from her bed to go down to Rita’s and wash away her sorrow.

\--------------------

Feyre had invited everyone down to the River estate for dinner and Nesta hadn't wanted to go because Cassian wouldn't be there but was dragged along in the end by Gwyn. Emerie was meant to be her later that day, she was in the city but she told Feyre she had to talk to some vendors before the Palaces closed down. Nesta was laughing at a crude joke Azriel had said to Gwyn when Morrigan stumbled into the living room doors open.

Feyre immediately went to her best friend's side but Mor pushed her away the stench of alcohol filling the air. She pointed at Nesta drunkenly

“ You.”  Nesta glanced at her quizzically, stepping forward in concern, “You stole her from me.”

Nesta’s eyebrows bunched together, “What are you talking about?”

“You stole Emerie from me.” Feyre glanced between her sister and best friend, worry coating her eyes. Nesta and Gwyn swapped suspicious glances and Gwyn spoke up her voice soft,

“Emerie is Nesta’s best friend, she can’t really be-”

“NO” Mor cut her off, “Emerie- Em left me for  her … She’s in  love  with you.”

Nesta laughed at that, “I assure you Morrigan, Emerie is not in love with me, besides why would that affect you if she did?”

“Because I am in love with her”  The whole room stilled, slipping into a bewildered silence. “She didn’t want to tell you that she was in a relationship with me,” Mor sobbed, “She didn’t want you to know because she feared losing you, she cried-my god she cried so much whenever we argued and then she went back to you with fake smiles…” Morrigan’s crying intensified as she recalled the memory but Nesta...

… Nesta let out a shuddering breath, eyes flashing with hurt as they looked at Gwyn,

“She didn’t tell me Gwyn…” tears now lined Nesta’s eyes and Gwyn tried to console her, “She- she didn’t  want  to tell me… She kept it from me.”

“I don’t believe her intention was to hurt you, Nes,” Gwyn tried, caressing Nesta’s unbound hair, “No Gwyn but… I have never kept anything from her and she thought I wouldnt approve?!”

The door opened behind them and Nesta turned,

“Hey…” Emerie stepped in and saw Nesta and Mor both crying. She stood at the entryway,

“What the hell happened??” She asked, eyes darting between them, Mor noted the movement and muttered bitterly, “Fitting of you to assume  I  did something to the female you are in love with.” Emerie gave her a bewildered look, “Who are you…” her eyes fell on Nesta, “You don’t think… this is a mess.”

Feyre and Rhys looked at each other and decided not to intervene.

Nesta stepped forward anger lacing her voice,

“Yes, yes this is. I trusted you and…” She looked up silver eyes piercing into Emerie, “You know that if someone- if  you had told me then I would’ve been supportive right? Right?”

Emerie didn’t answer and Nesta turned away dragging a hand through her hair,

“Nesta please , Calm down please this isn’t good for the…” Nesta pushed Gwyn away refusing to listen to reason and stepped up to Emerie, “I tell you everything. I never keep secrets from you but you do not trust me enough to tell me about such an important thing but the worse thing is… I wasn’t there for you...I couldn’t be there for you when you cried after arguments with Mor because you didn’t tell me, because you wouldn’t  let me. ”

“I didn’t- I didn’t, I never wanted this to happen!”

“Forget it, Em,” Nesta pushed past her running out of the door, off the grounds of the river estate, Gwyn ran after her pure terror going through her eyes as she contemplated what would happen to the child.

Emerie grabbed Gwyn’s arms, “Gwyn… please…”

Gwyn turned, “You mean the world to Nesta, she’ll talk to you later but it is best now if you don’t”

“But Gwyn-”

“Let me go Emerie, I need to make sure Nesta’s all right. She can’t be running in this state Emerie Let. me. Go.” Emerie dropped her hand and turned back to Mor who was still crying on the floor, a drunken mess.

“I am not in love with Nesta, you dimwit,” Mor looked up at Emerie, “I love Nesta but I am in love with you. How could you-”

Mor tried to stand up, “Emerie I didn’t mean too-”

“We’re done.”

Another silence rippled through the crowd around them and Emerie turned pleading eyes to Azriel,

“Take me home.”

As Azriel took her away Rhys swore,

“Shit.” He looked at Feyre, “Cassian’s here.”

As if in response the earth trembled on the grounds of the River house.

Rhys turned to Az, “You have to get Emerie out of here now.”

\---------------------------

Cassian growled at Rhys, “Where is she?”

Rhysand leveled a hard look with his general, “She is safe, Gwyn is with her, Feyre and Nyx are with her and you know how Nesta melts with Nyx” he cocked his head, “You are being more overprotective than usual brother?”

Cassian shrugged, “When you heard your mate crying down the bond you dropped everything for her.”

“You’re right. I apologize brother.”

Feyre rushed through the doors, “Cassian… Nesta fainted. She’s with Madja.”

Cassian’s eyes widened once before he rushed out of the door taking to the skies towards the healers’ buildings.

Cassian stormed through the hallways until he reached the room he had been directed too. His heart rushed with relief at the sight of his mate, awake her hand in Gwyn’s. Cassian shot Gwyn a look of gratitude and walked to Nesta’s side. Gwyn excused herself but before she could leave Cassian asked her,

“Could you send word to her? She’s worried sick about Nesta apparently.” Gwyn knew who he was talking about and just nodded leaving the room. Cassian pulled a seat on Nesta’s side and grabbed her hand stroking a thumb down the back,

“Don’t scare me like that,” he whispered, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers, “Is the baby ok?”

She nodded, “They’re ok.” Cassian pressed closer against her and Nesta voiced her worries, “Cass, I-I overstepped she… you know she won’t come and visit me out of sheer guilt? Don’t be mad at her Cassian, It wasn’t her fault… and Mor? Is Mor ok? She was- was  heartbroken.”

“Hey, hey, baby, It wasn’t your fault or anyones for that matter… but you need to calm down. I don’t need you fainting from more stress, please. Talk to her once you’ve healed but… please don’t do this to me.”

Nesta nodded once, feeling guilty for how worried he was and settled back into the covers pulling him with her.

Later, she’d talk to Emerie. Later.

\------------------

Mor found Nesta in the private library. The house of Wind seemed reluctant at first but Mor assured it her feelings were pure.

Nesta was sprawled on the lounge and her eyes flicked up, slightly hardening as they beheld her.

“Hello,” Mor tried. Nesta sat up and patted the spot next to her,

“Hey.”

As Mor sat down she refused to meet Nesta’s eyes,

“I’m going to cut to the chase, I have never had a public relationship and I’m not trying to get you to sympathize with me but after Emerie told me she didn’t want us to have a public relationship I spiraled. I was always jealous and suspected that Emerie may be in love with you so when she started telling me my problems the only thing I focused on was...how much you were involved and I missed the whole point. She was scared that I would treat her how I treated you and I would  never  treat her but… I have a feeling that I owe  you an apology for how I treated you in the past. And the day before. You never deserved it and like always my jealousy was my main motivator.”

Nesta had sat and listened through it all and when Mor finished she reached over and put a hand on hers.

“I forgave you a long time ago.” Mor looked up to see silver eyes swirling with forgiveness, “And about Emerie… I can assure you that she is not in love with me. She is very much committed to you. However Emerie can be fiercely loyal to the ones she loves and she is very protective of me. I just regret not being there. This is more a reflection of me than her. And I was going to talk to her but I thought I’d let you two sort it out.”

Mor’s face conorted to pain and Nesta shuffled closer, “Hey, hey what’s wrong?”

“She refuses to see me.”

A look of pure determination came over Nesta as she stood up and the house gave Nesta her cloak.

“Wait Nesta where are you going?”

As Nesta put the red fur lined cloak on she said, “Emerie hasn’t been here to see me either. Which means that this bitc- she’s punishing herself and you dear Mor are not capable of shouting at her like I am. I’ll see you at dinner.”

Nesta walked off shouting for Azriel.

Mor wondered what the hell she just started.

\-----------------

The door of her shop slammed open and a red hooded figure stepped through the door.

“We’re closed-”

“EMERIE!” Nesta took off her hood, “You piece of- how dare you hole yourself up here and hide away from us?! I am disappointed in you. Is this what you’ll be teaching your godchild. That they should come hide up with you when their problems become too much?”

Emerie gaped, “Wait you still want me to be their godmother?”

“Of course I do you you idiot. We had an argument. It’s healthy.”

Nesta groaned and dragged Emerie to the back sitting down with her, “But you need to start explaining yourself.”

Emerie sighed, “Look Nes, I-I when I heard what Mor had said to you in the past I got scared and defensive. You’re the one who gave me a way out of these mountains. It was because of you I got love and a family. And then I thought if I didn’t tell you I’d get the best of both worlds, but that obviously blew up in my face… and after when you fainted I realised-”

“Stop right there. I fainted because I didn’t eat anything asI cleverley decided that if I didn’t eat anything it would prevent the morning sickness. I was wrong. Obviously. I fainted at the bad time and it was NOT your fault or anyone’s at all.”

Nesta held Emerie close to her chest and said, “You need to talk to your lady love, Em. She’s tearing herself up over you.”

Emerie sobbed quietly, “I know I just-”

“I’ll always be here for you. If your talk goes badly come and tell me. I’ll handle it then but you need to talk to her Em.”

“I will, I will.”

\-----------------------

“Hey.” Mor turned, seeing a familiar face, one she ached to see in the past days.

“Hi.” Emerie gave her a thin smile.

“We obviously need to talk.”

Mor nodded, “Yeah. Do-do you wanna sit down?” She gestured to the bench in Elain’s garden. Emerie nodded and sat, Mor sitting next to her.

A long silence drew out, Emerie being the first one to break it,

“I- you need to know that I am not in love with Nesta. I was just...scared. And I hate seeing you like this and I am so sorry-”

“No,” Mor stopped her, “Your reasons were fully justified. I was a horrible person to Nesta and you were right. Even though Nesta has forgiven me... you need to know that I will change but Em... I cant do it without you. I love you...so much it hurts.”

Emerie let out a shuddering breath,

“I love you too.” She reached over and kissed Mor and just like that... the words that were once spoken were healed over.

——————

Bonus:

Nesta got sat down by Gwyn in an arm chair. Nesta rolled her eyes putting a hand on her swollen belly, “Gwyn i honestly can’t with you. Please let me go upstairs and get a book-“

“ABSOLUTELY NOT! Nesta Archeron you are 8 months pregnant if you think I’m letting you go upstairs” 

The doors of the room downstairs Nesta had shifted too were flung open by the hous of wind as if to say “this is why I made this room and shifted you here” 

Nesta groaned as Gwyn gave Nesta a disappointed look. 

“Auntie NES!!!!” A shrieking voice echoed through the house as little 2 year old Nyx ran along the hallways into Nesta’s arms. Feyre and Rhysand walking close behind.

“Hello my baby!!” Nesta tucked him into her side mindful of the baby bump. 

Nyx put a tiny hand on her belly and said,

“My cousins in here?” Nesta nodded.

Feyre and Rhys leaned on either side of Nesta’s armchair. Nesta gave Rhys a pleading look, Rhys turned to his mate,

“Feyre why don’t you and Gwyn go check on the arrangements for the baby shower outside...”

“Oh Yeah! Feyre I was wondering-“ Gwyn led Feyre outside and Rhys peered down at his sister-in-law. 

“What’s the matter Nes?” 

Nesta huffed and then saw Az and Mor and waved them over. 

They gave her a concerned look,

“You ok?”

“No,” Nesta whined, “I want a book and chicken! And I’m carving butterscotch candies and you know what else I’m craving? AIR! I cant even breathe without Cassian, Gwyn, Emerie or Feyre hovering over me it’s horrible!” 

Rhys laughed not being able to control himself and Nesta slapped his leg,

“ITS NOT FUNNY!” Az and Mor quickly joined in, “what do you want us to do?” 

Nesta huffed again flailIng her arms out as Nyx cuddled closer looking up at everyone observing quietly. 

“I want you three to keep them away from me for AN HOUR that’s all! Please please just let me have this ONE hour before the baby shower please!!” 

Rhys looked at Mor and Az and then Nesta, “I mean we could try-“

“THANK YOU!!!” She rushed up and hugged Rhys, “you’re my favourite you know.” Rhys hugged her back and scoffed, “we all know Az is your favourite Illyrian now can you please let go of me before your mate comes in, I don’t want to die today.” 

“Too late” Cassian growled from behind. And Rhys gently pushed Nesta away Nyx giggling on her side. 

Cassian shot a glare in Rhys direction and strode up to his mate, kissing her and then putting a hand on her belly. It never failed to amaze her how much his eyes sparked up with devotion whenever he beheld her. Fuck he was gonna make an amazing father.

Nesta started crying. Gwyn stormed in.

“CASSIAN! What have I told you about making my girl emotional before the baby shower!” 

Cassian stepped back holding up his hands in defence, “I didn’t even- hold on she is MY mate why the hell are you-“

“CONSIDER YOUR WORDS GENERAL”

“You consider yours! You can’t tell me to stay away from my pregnant mate-“

“I CAN AND I WILL YOU KNOW WHY?! BECAUSE I HAD HER FIRST-“

“I KNEW HER FIRST-“

“AND YOUR BEHAVIOUR WAS SHITTY-“

Nesta put her hands over her ears, Nyx mirroring her movement. Nesta smirked down at her 2 year old nephew.

Rhysand on the other hand was trying to weather the fight between Gwyn and Cassian and made subtle nod for Nesta to dip. Nesta winked at Nyx and picked him up stealthily walking to the haven of her room.

As they both lay in bed together Nyx giggled,

“We fooled them Auntie Nes!” 

Nesta laughed, “we did!” Nyx put a hand on her belly and laughed aloud when he heard his cousin kick,

“Did you feel that auntie???!!”

“Yes they are inside me Nyxie,” they both laughed then Nyx looked up,

“Is uncle Cass not leaving you alone?”

Nesta groaned, “not at ALL.”

Nyx considered, “hmmm.... I think we should be mad at him.” 

“We definitely should for being so over bearing but forget about Cassian let’s read a book while they argue downstairs.” 

The house plopped several books down on Nesta’s table which showed exactly how long the argument was going to go on according to the house.

After about and hour or so (because That’s the only amount of time Cassian is willing to stay away from her) Cassian came in,

“Baby we’re gonna do the gender reveal now.” Nyx gave Cassian a Nesta signature glare which was surprising for a 2 year old,

“What did I do?!”

“Mama Nesta said you’re being a bear!” 

Nesta laughed, “over bearing Nyxie not a bear!” 

Nyx blushed, “my bad... but yeah what she said.” 

Cassian rolled his eyes and then gestured outwards, “C’mon.” When Nesta and Nyx didn’t get up he went over and pulled his maye to her feet and then picked Nyx up leading them both outside, Nesta on his arm.

As they came out their family cheered and Cassian passed Nyx to Rhys. The couple strode up to the 2 tier cake decorated with gold and white. Nesta smiled at Gwyn and Emerie as Gwyn shoved a “future mommy” sash, them matching with “co godmother sashes. She looked up at the face of her mate to find Cassian already looking at her, utter devotion on his eyes as he rubbed a hand over her belly and then picked up the knife. She held onto it as well as they both leaned forward and cut the cake. They pulled the cake out and watched it drop onto the plate.

Pink. They were having a daughter.

Everyone burst out into cheers around them and Nesta cried out laughing as Cassian engulfed her in his embrace. Elain and Feyre reached over to hug her and then parted for her best friends. Her chosen family. 

Emerie and Gwyn gripped onto her tightly, both crying,

“You guys are my yellow.” 

Gwyn tipped her head back and laughed, Azriel’s eyes glinting with admiration behind her.

Emerie grinned, her wings rustling, Mor’s eyes misting with love.

Nesta turned to look at her own mate who smiled softly towards her.

She wouldn’t spend eternity with anyone else except them.

**Author's Note:**

> ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE WRITTEN IM SORRY SKL IS TAKING THE PISS xx anyway love you all please leave me a comment and kudos 🥰🥰


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